Blogs
Nothing to see here– just clearing some brush
You may have heard about the emerging scandal of the Bush administration’s firing of U.S. Attorneys for what appear to be, in several cases, clearly political reasons. Wherever an abuse of power is possible, the Bush crew have set out to exploit it– this...What happens when you eat too much garlic
Remind me not to rile any Serbs. Seems a trio of Van Helsing wannabes drove a stake through Slobodan Milosevic’s heart. Geez Louise! I mean, we’ve got our own undead — Robert Novakula and this guy: come to mind — but it’s a metaphor,...Is it just me, or is it getting scaly in here?
You know that old interview question about who you’d invite to dinner if you could? I just discovered a new invitee who could change everything at that particular candlelight supper. You might have to invite Winston Churchill just to hear what he’d say to...So much depends
So much depends on a red-state Attorney, glazed with Republican talking points, beside the white chickenhawks.El Corazon: theory and practice
There’s a political law I’ve observed that bears a strong resemblance to my own, ultra-patented Corazon Theory (TM, baby). The Corazon Theory (TM, baby) bears a longer explication, but the basic notion is that the more authentic and tasty a Mexican...The Republican Memory Fund
As Howie Kurtz notes today, there’s a disturbing amount of amnesia hitting the Republican upper crust. This is tough on the rest of us as we try to piece together who last prayed at the Karl Rove altar, or worse yet, rapped with him. (This is the most disturbing...Bad cardinals
Okay, which one of you dudes in a funny hat is smoking while the Pope preaches? Sure, you could just ‘fess up, but no, you’ve gotta go blaming it on angels… On the other hand, maybe we’ve found the 10-foot cigarette that’s gone missing in...Woah, man! Cosmic IT
So much is clear to me now about how computers work. Courtesy of the White House and their incredible missing Attorney Purge Scandal emails, I can now present a new, fascinating computer fact:Did you know that emails actually go to another universe when they leave...Drive-thru grieving
First, a disclaimer: the post below is a work-in-progress. Your commentary is therefore much appreciated. The text will change as this becomes a for-print piece.To the significant number of us still encumbered by a sense of irony, last week’s terrible and...Meanwhile
Sometimes you catch a glimpse of the world outside the handbasket. This image just made me happy. It’s tiresome to have to waste so much perfectly good brainpower on counteracting a bunch of criminals who want to destroy life, liberty and happiness for all but...Send in the czars
I’ve often wondered how we got to a point in our government in which somebody thought, "Hey, what this crapshoot needs is a czar!" A czar?(This is Bob Pease, who declared himself czar of bandgaps. He understands.)Last I checked, a czar (tsar, if...Blogging in a jumpsuit, uh-huh
There is an intriguing phenomenon afoot. (Though a foot is not a phenomenon.) What I mean is that, though blogs are as readily contracted as athlete’s foot (another phenomenon entirely), there is a particular brand of anonymous wordslinger who prefers the...When Star Wars really goes to your head
I just found, in researching some of the finer points of detail for the new Advocate cover story on Star Wars, what happens when you really let your Boba Fett mix with your Jabba the Hut. I mean, I too wish for my own personal landspeeder, light saber and Millenium...Ours for the taking
Greg Palast is once again proving that we live in a remarkable bubble of propaganda. Of course, it’s all possible because most of us refuse to believe it, or else we don’t want to admit it until everyone else has been snookered, like the hustled crowd who...Why we haven't gotten that bin Laden fellow, explained!
From yesterday’s press conference:Q: Mr. President, why is [Osama bin Laden] still at large? THE PRESIDENT: Why is he at large? Because we haven’t got him yet, Jim. That’s why.This also just in:We haven’t left Iraq because we’re still...War on Turr! Now 50 percent off!
The central problem with selling the War on Turr ™ as an indefinite proposition is that the only people who seem to be fighting it are the soldiers themselves and George W. Bush. We don’t seem like a nation at war. What do we conserve? What do we...Since policing Korea has been so gosh-darned swell…
Yesterday, White House obfuscaterTony Snow brought to light the news that our Great Leader, far from listening to the will of the majority of the people who may or may not have elected him, envisions his great Iraq war as something along the lines of Korea, where we...Elephants in trouble
You know things are bad when elephants are becoming highway bandits to extract food from surprised travellers. Of course, the metaphorical possibilities are endless when it comes to our Republican friends and their current well-deserved decline, but it may well be...Engage smug mode
Greg Palast, thrower of journalistic Molotov cocktails, has recently been attacked on Daily Kos. Many people catch heat there, but in Palast’s case, the attack was a bit weird. He brought his allegations of a little something called vote caging (for more, please...Hefzilla?
I never intended to cover the wild hog beat. My parents were born in Arkansas, however, so perhaps it’s destiny. Perhaps I’m destiny’s child? It’s early. Anyway. (For earlier hog news, see this or that).Thanks to the latest monster pig killed...Hefzilla BREAKING!!
Eleven-year-old Jamison Stone shoots old friend of giant hog he recently downed. The giant pig, whose name was Fred, used to cavort with a chihuahua, at least when he wasn’t being irate about a lack of hog slop. Stone recently learned the whereabouts of that...Hefzilla: Frank Dodge helps me unravel my mysterious connection to big pigs, sort of
I’ve been having a pig crisis. The monster pig just slain in ‘Bama came from Heflin, Ala. I have therefore been a bit concerned about the nature of my own connection to giant pigs. Much of my extended family is Arkansan, and as you may know, the University...Is you is or is you ain't a doggy?
I’ve long been a fan of Douglas Hofstadter. His writings on creativity, math, music, consciousness and humanity (among other subjects) are often astounding. A lot of people get scared off at a quick glance, but his fascinations with what might seem maddening...Where can I get me some of those president socks??
They shouldn’t let Mr. 28 Percent dress himself. If you saw this guy out in the wild, would you let him take charge of, say, your hot dog stand? Note especially the Scottish Terrier baseball cap. I guess he shops at truck stops.The only good thing you can say is...Marilyn Manson can't even shock himself anymore
Marilyn Manson is a tedious annoyance, but I’ve just noticed something that’s got me thinking. Is it just me, or is Marilyn here starting to resemble, in his own craggy way, late-era Liz Taylor? I’m not too sure what it might mean, except that the...In unusual mix-up, HIllary makes play for all of Quebec's voters
I say Marilyn Manson’s looking like Liz Taylor, and Hillary goes and chooses Celine Dion’s "You and I" as her campaign song. Did Barack Obama have a mole in her campaign organization? The masses who will mobilize against French Canada’s...In which the Ten Gallon Liberal points out proof that the fundamentalists are preventing, not spreading, Christian belief.
I’m the son of a Baptist (formerly Southern B.) preacher. I know a thing or three about fundamentalists, even though my family never qualified for that moniker. Now comes proof of something fundamentalists can’t fathom that seems obvious to the rest of us,...Fear, loathing, and Chick tracts
A Chick tract is a small (it’ll fit in your wallet) cartoon book by Jack Chick, a Christian fundamentalist. These tracts are sold as an aide to stealth witnessing–if you’re in, say, a phone booth at the airport and a little booklet or folded-up piece...You'd better be scared, brother
As I peruse these strange Chick tracts, I realize why exactly I was, as a child, not only certain of the existence of the bogeyman, but 100 percent convinced he was outside the window slavering in preparation for slurping me up in my sleep for a ghoulish dinner....Goodbye, George (III)
Let’s all celebrate independence from a man who wouldn’t listen to his people, who put profit and empire above the well-being of citizens, who thought he ruled by divine right and was above any law. The colonials were self-sufficient people who took rule...As the Bush falls
Watching the demise of this sad excuse for a leader is finally providing some entertainment, and at least that’s something. Having returned from a nice long weekend, I was pleased to see that Bush continues to plunge yet lower in approval numbers. This has...Welcome to the PDR-USA (TM)
I’ve spent plenty of time writing about the excesses of the fundamentalists, particularly the Baptist variety I was exposed to as a child. I recall that, at the time of my first long article on the convergence of Bush and the Baptists, I had some dim notion that...Filibusted
Where did the word "filibuster" go? Not the idea, the word. Remember when Republicans were crowing about allowing "up or down votes" on Bush’s maniac Supreme Court appointees? Remember how they were threatening the "nuclear option"...Copyright this, coppah!
It would be the most brilliant prison break ever, had the plan worked. Instead, we now know copyright law is not the ticket out of the hoosegow. Courtesy of a UK newspaper, we have word of the elaborate scheme, carried out in Louisiana. It’s my favorite story of...Impeachment NOW or we become a police state, says Paul Craig Roberts, Reagan Assistant Treasury Secretary. Had enough yet?
You must act. A terrible convergence is upon us, and the moment has come to stand up, through impeachment, for your democracy or wave goodbye. If you won’t believe a Texas liberal, just keep reading–Reagan’s Assistant Treasury Secretary is even more...MC Rove gets jiggy with the bureaucrats so that we can all sleep soundly in a Republican world
While we wait for John Conyers to bring the contempt hammer down on the lily-livered jellonauts of the White House, here’s some entertainment. We knew that Karl "Turdblossom" Rove and his staff offered a fine briefing to the General Services...Will W have to sally forth in his Y-fronts mumbling “attack” before we can throw the bums out? What will it take?
The BBC says W’s grandfather was part of a plot to overthrow FDR (no, really) and adopt fascism. The GOP’s emails reveal widespread vote suppression. Gonzo is a liar. The past scandals amount to a vast pile of wrongdoing, from torture to vote suppression...Arlen Specter discovers that the sky is a sort of sky-blue color
I respect the senatorial roasting of Gonzalez, but it’s exasperating, the dimness of our senators sometimes. Today Specter has discovered the following about Justices Alito and Roberts: Specter, the ranking Republican on the Judiciary Committee, who served as...Destroying the evidence: most of Ohio's 2004 ballots destroyed, despite a federal order to preserve them.
It was all by accident, in all those 55 counties where they’re gone, they swear. And all the tremendous discrepancies in Ohio happened to increase Bush’s totals by an enormous coincidence. Oh well! Just relax and enjoy some nice Kool-Aid. Everything is...That Karl Rove just knows how to give gifts for any occasion! What a guy!
Out in liberal Blogistan, it’s being pointed out that the folks dispatched by Karl Rove to brief executive agencies on which Republicans to help claim their briefings were thank-yous to the political appointees at the various agencies. This brings to mind one...How They Learned to Stop Worrying and Love George W. Bush
George W. Bush, armed with his halting, homespun testiness, last week referred to the Director of National Intelligence, a full-grown adult named Mike McConnell, as “Mr. DNI.” If Bush’s plummeting poll numbers are any indication, most of the country...Closing the door on spying.
The current Dem rollover is part of a pattern: the legal vulnerability of the Bush Posse is being rapidly remedied. There is currently a blog commenter at large on the Internet espousing the viewpoint, which seems to hold much truth, that what cannot be classified and...Congratulations to the most psychotically disconnected person in all of America! And no, it's not that guy.
First, the neo-con Project for the New American Century, in 2000, said we need a “catastrophic and catalyzing event, like a new Pearl Harbor” in order to be driven quickly enough to the empire-building excesses they champion. They got that reprehensible...When the water boils, how does the frog hop?
What happens when you add something to a super-saturated solution? Cause me, I’m feeling super-saturated. Though I’m not a solution. Heck, I’m not a problem, a solution, a liquid or gas. Just a dude with a big hat.Anyway. I feel as if our political...Now your tax dollars buy even more propaganda!
The shifting sand upon which our democracy has sunk is a 20th-century concept: professional lying. "Public relations," they would rather you say. As an arts writer, I deal with "publicists" every day, people who tell me the band they represent is...A modest, but heartening, victory in the battle to stop Bush's politicization of everything.
In America, you can’t use taxpayer funding to host the president and then cleanse the area of dissenters. That is, we can safely say, unAmerican. Therefore it is common, codified practice for Bush events, according to the ACLU:"The ACLU said in a statement...America? What America?
From today’s Washington Post: A White House manual that came to light recently gives presidential advance staffers extensive instructions in the art of "deterring potential protestors" from President Bush’s public appearances around the country....A Farewell to Turdblossom
There are those who believe Karl Rove ruined the country. And no one yet has said it better than Joseph Galloway, writing in the newspaper of my hometown, Fort Worth, Texas. No excerpt is enough, so kindly read the whole thing. You won’t regret it.My Top 3 contenders to replace Gonzales
The fellow who reportedly spent a good few minutes apiece reviewing death penalty cases for Governor Bush, advising Bush to fry people even when there were things like retardation or evidence of innocence, is gone. He won’t be missed by anyone except (maybe)...Breaking: Grand Band Slam makes Schwaber scentless
I’ve had my head buried in Band Slam copy lately. It’s always an interesting proposition, cobbling together many pages of the musings of Valley musicians. (I know this isn’t politics, but when I’m not in this ten gallon hat, I’m the...A temporary tip of the hat
The Ten Gallon Liberal is heading to the ranch for some r&r for the holiday week, but I look forward to cantering back into town and continuing to get blogalicious. Please, in the meantime, be careful if you visit any RNC restrooms.The solution to our economic woes lies in grammar.
Having moved along a good few dogies, Ten Gallon is back under the wide brim. (I always think it adds to one’s mystique to employ the third person needlessly.) But now that I think about it, maybe I’ve just hit upon the economic recovery solution...Dr. Strangelove, wherefore art thou?
At what point do you just throw up your hands, cover your critical thinking in bacon grease and throw it to the dogs? Democracy was a pretty good idea, but in the end, I guess we just couldn’t take the responsibility.Paul Craig Roberts, former Assistant...Project Censored: one stop shopping for all your anti-totalitarian needs
The Advocate used to run the Project Censored top 10 stories the media missed. I wish we still did. But it’s out there. I can hardly take reading this year’s version, a rundown of how close we truly are to real, live, actual totalitarianism, but if you...Don't walk like a terrorist, fellow citizen!
Here’s an idea: ask experts what causes terrorism. Then try to eliminate the causes. Then there will be less terrorism.But that wouldn’t benefit the bottom lines of our massive defense industry companies, to whom many of our top government officials have...Just another day in the People's Democratic Republic
The Republicans successfully filibustered Joe Biden’s attempt to restore habeas corpus, the only protection against wrongful imprisonment or indefinite imprisonment without charge, to "enemy combatants." Keep in mind that Our Dear Leader has proclaimed...Ken Burns, a Ken Burns production by Ken Burns (and a war and stuff)
I once interviewed Ken Burns. He announced to his entourage he was going to be interviewed by the Valley Advocate, then asked if he could call me "Valley." He spoke without looking my direction, reciting canned answers so full of hot air they were nearly...Move over NSA, it's time for eavesdropping WITH ADS!!!
Just before 9/11/2001, I was engaged in a fresh round of being appalled at the absurd excesses of the corporate world. Remember corporateers? They’re the only people with even less respect for your privacy than Bush. Don’t believe me? Just try (and I have)...Liberty or death, from the wimp perspective
The current domestic struggle is over nothing less, I would argue, than democracy itself. We Americans have long been proud of our rights and freedoms, and repeatedly declared a willingness to die for those things. But now we have a Director of National Intelligence...E-Edition
Best Of 2024
Readers Choice 2024
